The Indian Man.....

I will say, generally speaking, Western men, specially Scandinavians are known to participate equally on the home front and do it gladly. They don't think taking care of their children, cleaning the house, dishes or cooking as mainly a woman's job but a shared responsibility.

But then again, there are those who are just like men all over the world - who have expectations from their wives/ girlfriends and what their roles are or should be. Basically we would find all kinds of men just as we would find all kinds of women. 

So, when I hear some of my Indian friends say, 'oh, he's a typical Indian man, you know,' in a particular tone of voice, almost derogatory, I look at their husbands, their sons. And wonder - what are they actually saying about their husbands and sons? 

But, personally I feel, it gets worse: when an young Indian man stands up and says - oh I used to be a typical Indian husband but I changed. And then he proceeds to point to other older Indian men and say, he told me to listen to my wife, he showed me how to wash dishes, he helped me teach my daughters football.... Then I am left with this question - were those not Indian men you just pointed out who helped you become a better husband and father? Are they not typical Indian men? So, I am left still wondering - What makes a typical Indian man? 

Why do we look down on ourselves and our Indian men? I know they are not perfect, but then again - who is perfect? 

In every society, even one as liberal and where there is much equality between sexes as the Scandinavian society, women are abused, women are raped and harassed on the roads with cat-calls and so on. And if you think its the so-called immigrant men where women seem to have a lower social standing, you are in for a shock. Its actually Norwegian men who are often the ones that call out names after women on the streets. So what is equality? The right to work equally as a man, and earn equal pay alone? Or is to be able to walk the streets as freely as any man, not judged by our dress and looks?

I am of course being harsh - I do see that there is always room for improvement. Real equality is actually mutual respect in my opinion, an understanding from your partner that, as a woman you have several responsibilities - old parents and their care, children and their progress, ones own career, making a comfortable home (shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc) for everyone. And that has nothing to do with whether you are Indian or Western. It has to do with feeling confident in your role as a partner and appreciation of one another. And its also understanding that men too have more responsibilities that they didn't have before - such as changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, parents, and their own careers too. We still expect our men to fix the car, change the tires, mow the lawn, do all the small repairs around the house etc... Don't we?

Indian men, at least in my opinion (and I know only a few men close enough and therefore my knowledge is limited), are the same as anywhere in the world. Its how we as mothers bring up our sons and daughters. And so it seems - its still the woman's responsibility.... What do we teach our sons and daughters? Back to the start.............

Have a great day friends..... 

With love and peace

Prasantha