Is it all attitude?

I am in awe!

Norway is a beautiful country, I am sure you've heard about it a dozen times. But as any country it has its ups and downs. While living here for the past 25 years, its easy for me to criticize this country on some issues and get blase about that which we initially appreciated this country.

View from our room

Today, what I wanted to tell you about this place that I am stayed at, a health resort for both physically and mentally challenged children and young adults and their families.

Its a place called Beitostølen. From the moment I arrived, I was made to feel that anything I demanded, whether it was vegetarian food, or that our medicines are stored carefully in a fridge and a specific time to collect them was not a problem. Everything could be accommodated. We were personally taken to our room, shown the important places that we would need immediately. The cook in the restaurant noted down that we were diabetic, that we were vegetarian and we were Indian. There were some cleaners in the corridor and they were cleaning away and chatting with each other. I saw a group of young people, two in wheelchairs and several sitting around in the lobby. while we were waiting to register ourselves, these youth were talking about hair and how to maintain it. After a long time, I was so happy to hear young people, whom I know have several health issues (that's why they are here in the first place) talking about simple everyday issues. It brought a smile to my face as I saw this young very beautiful girl, in a wheel chair tossing her head, letting the boys see her bountiful mane and drawing attention to herself by saying - but my hair gets ruined so easily. And of course receiving compliments to the contrary.

View from the restaurant 

The second day I was there, I took a walk with my daughter who was very ill last year and therefore qualified for this stay, paid entirely by the state for her and myself for three full weeks As I was walking with her I told her that I wish I could build such a place in India. She smiled and said, would it not be expensive? Yes it would, but as I thought more about it, I realized that it is actually easy to build a building and make sure that all the equipment etc is installed. But the beauty of the place was not the building or its setting (although that too helps in creating the total picture). It was the people who worked there.

Its all in the attitude, in my opinion. Whether you are a cleaner, doctor, nurse, cook, or the receptionist: you were important to the smooth running and in creating that relaxed atmosphere. Everyone was equal. That I realized is what makes Norway a unique place. Its how they treat all people - equally. A cleaner is not looked down on, she/he are given due importance. The nurse often has better command over the needs of a patient and guides the doctor, the receptionist knows who is in what room and what their special needs are. Of course, I have not even began to talk about the activity leaders, physiotherapists, occupational therapists and students who are under training, or the stable personnel.

So while I can build the building, I wonder if I can bring similar attitudes to the place I want to build. Will these patients be looked down on? Will the cleaner be shouted at simply because the receptionist is higher on the social ladder? Will the doctor ignore the nurses' advice simply because she is just a nurse? And the sports instructors and students, the stable persons, all of them with their important roles that make everything run so smoothly and are experts in their areas?

These are just some of my questions and thoughts. What do you think?

Love and Peace

Prasantha

Love is in the air

Happy Valentine's, dear friends.

When it comes to love, nothing has changed, since man was born he knew what that indefinable emotion is. Our need to be loved, our need to love, to care for others is the strongest emotion, in my opinion. For without love, kings would not exist, man would not stop going to war to save the lives of the people he holds dear. Without love, women would not risk their lives to bring new life into this world. With great love, there is also great sacrifice, it seems.

So, I celebrate today, just to be able to let you all know I cherish many people and on this day, I am thinking of all the people who've touched my life with love and positiveness.

I LOVE YOU!!


Honestly speaking, I never gave that sentence much importance and often even felt embarrassed saying it.... That is, until my daughter never let a day or night pass without her letting us know she loved us and waiting until we repeated it back to her... She horded her 'I love you's' like a miser.

Yet today, perhaps it has to do with age or confidence, I truly do love regardless of the other persons love for me and express it freely. Or perhaps I am no longer afraid to show that I am vulnerable, and saying I love you comes naturally to me and makes me feel stronger rather than weaker.

And I have discovered that those simple words, even when one is angry have such power to forgive, to forget ones hurt and yes, those words sometimes makes us melt and wrap our arms around the one we love and hold them close to our hearts. Action speaks louder than words, wise men say, but this one sentence, sincerely said, sometimes has all the power to make us feel humbled and make us just a little less selfish, make us willing to set aside our personal ego and pain. In any language.. :-)

Love is really all we need, to make this beautiful world of ours a better place....................

Love and Peace, my friends. Wishing everyday is a Valentine day :-)

Prasantha.

What do we teach our children?

I've been thinking a lot about boys and girls. Once, when I saw a mother hitting her son and I tried to stop her, the mother did not like me interfering. She turned around and said, "You don't know how to raise boys......... They need harsher treatment or they don't learn!"

And I started thinking, so we teach our sons that hitting is alright, violence is acceptable. An eye for an eye. And I see all around me, parents who justify their sons bad behavior or lack of consideration by saying - boys will be boys. What does that actually mean? Are boys born to be naughty? Or pull and push and that they come first- always? Are they born with those attitudes?

 It seems to me that it is we, the mothers who make that distinction. Why do we tell our boys that its alright to be aggressive, a go-getter. Its alright to be ambitious, put your job before your wife and family, its alright to go out and hangout with your buddies after work, its alright to take out your frustrations of work on your wife. After all, she's been in house all day, doing nothing - just raising the children, cleaning, cooking, all natural abilities that every woman is born with. She doesn't HAVE to work......... Let's not forget that we also teach our boys that they are privileged. It is shocking to learn that it is the so-called educated urban Indians who have increased abortions based on gender. What is all that education for, if it cannot translate into better understanding and a change in attitudes towards our girls?

And we tell our girls to be patient, wait their turn, smile even if it hurts and don't talk too much or laugh loudly. The rules on social behavior are given to our daughters even before they even have a chance to find their voices. We are even told how we should think - if you don't want to get married and serve your family, then something is wrong with you. If you cannot take care of your younger siblings, its a failing. If you wear a shorter dress, then you are shameless. If you voice your opinion, you don't know how to behave.

So in my opinion, its time to teach our sons that it makes a better world when you see women as humans like themselves. It makes for a better world when you treat another human being the way you want to be treated, irrespective of whether your are inside the home or outside....During war times and peaceful times.

Yet, as I am writing this, I seem to have more questions, and fewer answers.............

When will we change? When will we learn that all of us - man or woman, we all born to a WOMAN? Without the female form, would all of our beautiful Earth's creatures exist?

Love and Peace

Prasantha

Is everyone cut out to being an entrepreneur?

This is personal journey for me... And I ask myself these questions everyday. Perhaps those of us who are thinking of breaking out of the normal and expected mode would like to join me and together we can find the answers we are seeking..

As I look at various sites and articles by several carrier coaches, most recommend that we should quit our day and steady jobs and start for ourselves. Mostly because it is so rewarding. You will be your own boss, you will be able to decide your lifestyle and while you work hard, maybe more than in your regular job, you will still have time be at home, to play with your kids or take them to the game and so on...

Does that make sense? How can you put in more work when building your business and still have time to do all the things you love with your kids and family?

What about income? Can your family afford NOT to have a steady two-income cash flow? What do you like doing? What kind of person are you? Do you like the simple and uncomplicated? Do you like predictability? Are you happy in your current job? And even if you are not, does it give you a strong sense of security?

I believe before so many career guides tell us that the best way to have a satisfying carrier is to start our own company, spend a little time thinking about it - whether its the right choice for you. It may sometimes be easier to just find a good balance at work, be able to tell your boss where your limits are. Stand your ground.

Ideas are wonderful. Everyone should have them but if those ideas are your dreams as well, then go for it. While the uncertainty is terrible and you may feel like you are the only one in the whole world who believes in you, living out your dreams or making them a reality is a truly wonderful feeling. And you are not alone. :), it just feels like it sometimes. 

I will continue this for a little while longer. But do share your views with me.. what would you like to discuss?

Love and peace
Prasantha

A Mothers letter to her daughter...........

My dearest daughter,

Time flies, really really fast. I still remember when you were born. I cried and everyone tried to reassure me that those tears were tears of joy. I suppose they were right, but I still can recall how frightened I was. As long as you were a part of me, I could protect you as I protected myself, but the moment you left my body, I realized I no longer had any control over your destiny - for good or bad. You are now an Individual......

That realization hit me hard. But not as hard as the sudden love and possessiveness I felt towards you as I held you in my arms. I always was afraid of commitment, but I realized now, as you lay peacefully unaware of my inner turmoil, that NOW I was committed, whether I liked it or not. NOW I was attached, whether I liked it or not. I was responsible for bringing you into this world, I held in my hands the power to destroy you   or make you a responsible citizen of this world, a good person.... I have tried to be humble in this Herculean task of being your mother. I don't think I have always been successful and only time will tell if I have done a good job or not.

Raising you was a pleasure; every time you ripped up one of my favorite books, I proudly showed it to  friends telling them how strong you were. Every time you broke a glass, my Waterford crystal which was a rare piece of glass, I was more concerned that you did not get hurt. Every little thing you did made me hug you, praise you, kiss you until you pushed me away..... until you became 6 years old and school started.

Then I realized that my expectations raised, along with your age. Sit properly, eat properly, don't rip your books, don't make a fuss, don't destroy the things around you, be careful.... hurry, hurry, hurry - we don't have time to play. Toys were replaced by timetables, random activities were replaced by clubs and organised sports, stick figure drawings were thrown out and you were asked to draw better. When did it all happen? Why didn't you stop me? I love you, my dearest, for absorbing all that and taking my worries for what they were - small and soon to be forgotten incidents, in the big picture.

Today, you are a grown woman, with experiences of your own. Now you see that I am not perfect but I gave you my best, yet you still love me. You stand a head taller and look down on me, yet in your eyes - I still see the awe you have for me, your mother. I am so happy to see you have grown into a brave young person, who stands up for her beliefs, who follows her heart even if it may not be what I think is best for you. People are drawn to you and your smile. Your inner beauty shines, you are stronger than I ever imagined you would be..... And I remember your words, when I said you were beautiful.

"Its alright to be beautiful, mom, but I think being smart is more important, being good to others and kind is more important". You were 5 years old. I was proud of you then, I am more proud of you now.

Maybe I didn't do such a bad job after all, considering how frightened I was..........

With all my love......
Your mom

With love and peace

Prasantha