New Year Resolutions!!

New Year Resolutions!!

Every year, as far as I can remember, I have always made New Year resolutions. I still remember when my resolutions were simple -  get better grades, be good, go to every party..... As I got older, the list got harder and more complicated - find the right man and get married, have 2.5 children, get rich fast....

So this year, I have a simple list. Here is my list - what does yours look like?

1. Appreciate the little things in life (well, you know those two carat little shiny rocks in the jewelry store - I would appreciate them for my birthday.... Hey I AM appreciating the little things in life!!!)
2. Lose weight (what self-respecting woman NOT have that on her list?)
3. Exercise more (I am proud of myself here, I got myself a step counter. Now all the steps I take from the sofa to the kitchen to get a snack, count. But I think its not working properly, missing a couple of numbers)
4. Be calmer and more peaceful (but I can't help it if the people around me make it their New Year resolution to irritate me!)
5. Be more honest (of course, all those white lies don't count)
6. Clean out the garage and get rid of all the clutter (well, not the Masterpiece I drew when I was 3 or 4 years old. I was meaning to frame it and display it. And that dress - I looked so good in it in my college days- when I lose my weight then I will fit into it, and all that exercise equipment - I will need that to lose weight. You know what, let me keep this resolution for another time)
7. Stop buying more than I need (Oh come on!!! Can't a girl have any fun?)
8. Contribute to World Peace (Of course, it's all in my hands - let me try peace on the home front first)
9. Be more environmentally conscious (exactly where was I supposed to put that empty tin again?)
10. And finally, but not last: eat healthier (CHOCOLATE here I come! Didn't recent research show that chocolate actually makes you lose weight? And makes you happier? Now armed with my new step counter and chocolate and all those trips to the grocery store - wow, by March I would have achieved my goal, in fact several of my goals - 2, 3, 4 AND 10!)

To make me feel confident that I am on the right path, I have major companies behind me; selling me a dozen quick fixes. All I have to do is buy that new wonder pill to lose weight, or join that self help course and voila! inner peace. Or join a few health clubs - it's ALL for free in January as long as you buy a full years subscription..... The choices are too many and I don't know where to begin!

So this year, I've made up my mind - I AM JUST GOING TO BE MYSELF! With my double (or more) chins, and with all my complications and temperament, desires, wants and needs.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, my friends.

Whatever your resolutions are for this year - enjoy yourselves and laugh a lot, love freely and share. Start with sharing your resolutions for this year with me...........

With love and peace

Prasantha

Christmas- my personal meaning

The festival season has started, at least in the Western hemisphere!! A flurry of activity is seen everywhere around me. I love seeing the lights, warm, spicy smells coming from the cafes, shops offering warm waffles, and the spicy drink. Even the cold somehow seems to be welcoming. From childhood we are shown pictures of snowmen and snowflakes, singing carols about sleighing in the snow. Even in India, I actually remember sitting in a hot classroom, with temperatures almost 30 deg C and making a Christmas card with a snow man made of cotton..... And of course remember the all time famous song by Bing Crosby - 'I'm dreaming of a White Christmas'?

But I digress. I said I loved Christmas. Perhaps that is not entirely true. I don't like buying presents, I don't like cutting up a tree (even if another one is planted in its place). I don't like all the over eating and then dieting roller-coaster. I don't buy into the concept that "when in Rome, do as the Romans do". My children have learnt that if they want to give presents, they had to make them themselves. They were allowed to give, but please don't bring home another angel figurine or a bubble bath that none of us will ever use! 

So, what do I love about Christmas? To tell you the truth - its an image I have. An expectation, if you will. And all because of a story that I was told by a kind-hearted nun in Ireland. 

Here is the story, perhaps she told it another way, but this is just the gist of it:

"This day, a child was born. He was to be a King among men. He was to be the son of God. He was blessed. But his birth was humble, it was in a stable, alone was his Mother, having no place to stay for the night. 

Light came however. And she was no longer alone. So, just as it was for Mother Mary, it is the same for so many people even today. No one should be lonely or hungry this day, at least on the day when a King is born.

Light a candle, place it by your window. Remember that today, when it is cold, and dark, there is still light. Let no one, young or old be alone. At least for this one night let the lonely, hungry and alone know there is light, your home warm and welcoming. Christmas is sharing of this light. 

And you don't have to be a Christian to share your kindness with others less fortunate."

And that to me, my friends, is Christmas. I felt the message in my heart and from that time onward, I still light a candle and place it by my window for the world to see that they are not alone. I make extra food - just in case. I tell the story of Christ's birth to my children, just as I tell the stories of Rama and Krishna. It is time to reflect and think about more than oneself. Every year, I wait in mild excitement - will some one who needs help knock on my door?

Enjoy the season! This season of giving. I only wish we had the same sprite all the year around :-)

What personal Christmas experiences would you like to share? I hope to hear them. Please feel free to tell me.

Love and Peace, dear friends.....

A few cards made by my younger daughter for her friends and teachers :)

Prasantha

Can we ever justify physically abusing our children?

A recent case in Norway about an Indian couple who were arrested for abusing their son has been in the media. I would also point out the obvious that these stories that appear in the media are more complicated than what the press can ever cover. In this case, as in the previous one, the child had a behavior disorder. No case that reaches court comes there over-night. It takes months of observation and discussions from several sources before it ever comes this far.

The case is of course complicated, the Indian media claiming that the Norwegian government and its rules on Child Protection are threatening foreigners and immigrants. The law seems to target children form other countries, immigrant parents are innocent victims and so on.... The media needs viewers, so sensationalism is very much in their interest. And of course, there is no smoke without some fire. But I leave the main part of this discussion to others. 

Here I just want to talk about violence against children and just touch upon cultural understanding. 

Is there any reason or excuse in this world for abusing our children? Do we still live in a world where we expect children to be seen but not heard? 

We, as women are outraged at the abuse and violence against women. We hold protests, we have organisations and governments lobbying against this most terrible injustice. We as women are adults, we can walk away, even though I know it is not easy. But can children walk away from abusive parents? Can they walk away from the people whom they are completely dependent on? They did not ask to be born, they did not choose their parents. We, as adults, at least can choose our partners in life.

Whether this particular couple has abused their child or not is not a matter of which country they have come from or which culture they have been brought up in, in my opinion. Abuse by anyone, is a matter of a lack of respect for the life they have brought into this world. It is a lack of understanding of the enormous responsibility that they have as parents - making sure their child is happy and in turn becomes a responsible adult. 

The Norwegian laws are for the protection of the weakest section of our society as they view it in their country. Children are the most loyal and trusting of all humans. It is our job to protect them and give them the best of ourselves. Because tomorrow they will be a reflection of ourselves. Have we raised them to be human? Or animals, where there is only room for the strongest?

At this juncture, I want to say it is not easy for anyone coming from a vastly different land and culture that India is compared to Norway. I can understand the frustration, the uncertainty and insecurities that we would all face when we realize that everything is different. To complicate the picture, we have no network. No elders to intervene or even curious neighbors to curb our actions. What happens behind closed doors actually remains behind closed doors. 

I think it would be unwise of us to underestimate the pressures and stresses that many young parents face, in addition to being first-time parents without some elders to guide them during the first crucial years. After all, our children may look like us, but they are separate individuals and will not necessarily even think like us. They have grown up in another country, in another environment. It is an enormous challenge to make sure that we find similarities within our own cultures and in our host culture. It may be advisable to sometimes seek help from within the community, where one can share experiences and help one another in finding ones way in  a new country. 

I believe that certain rules of society are the same, where ever we are in this world: no child abuse, no violence against the weaker part of our society. I don't think we can ever justify violence against those who are dependents on us.

It is however a challenge for the Norwegian child protection authorities to understand certain cultural differences. Sitting around the TV and doing home work together with our family members is not a failure to take good care of our children, eating with our fingers is not a failure to take good care of our children, sleeping with our children in the same bed when they are small is not a failure to take good care of our children, to tell our children that they need to behave when in public and use threats such as "no nursery for you" or "we'll go back home to our homeland" or "no more chocolate" is not a failure to take good care of our children. 

If you look on the other side of the picture: immigrant children, specially Indians, are doing well in schools and Universities, they respect their elders, they are hard working and high achievers. Why is that so? Can children continue to show such success if they are not able to assimilate into the Norwegian system? Or if their parents have simply closed their eyes and ears to what Norway has to offer them and their children?

The authorities need to also be open to a dialogue, not a monologue. As long as it is seen as important that immigrants understand the local laws and the Norwegians don't have to understand or accept different cultural viewpoints, we will be at a standstill. While is it important for immigrants to understand the Norwegian laws, the child care services need to understand the subtle cultural nuances. That can only happen when Norwegians too can climb down from their high moral horses and meet the immigrant communities half way.  

And I think we that in all communities, Norwegian, Indian or immigrant, we agree that violence is NEVER THE ANSWER - SPECIALLY VIOLENCE IN THE NAME OF LOVE............ There can never be love where there is violence against those who depend on us for their well-being. 

Love and peace, my friends. 

Prasantha

All about everything

Welcome to my blog!!

Today I just want to share a few thoughts on creativity. You know how some people say that they are not creative at all? Well, I find that that is NOT TRUE. We are all creative in so many ways. Here are just a few examples:

My husband: He is a doctor, as grounded a person as you can imagine. Yet, today he has his own blog and during his college days drew cartoons/ jokes and was published, not to mention poetry. Just take a look at his blog. He's not just a scientist. He was also one of the first doctors to start a website offering advice to parents and others in the medical profession on childrens' health.

www.barnelegen.blogspot.no

Or my friend who is an entrepreneur and a soft ware company owner. She once told me, "I can't design or create". Well, just take a look at these dresses that she designed and had stitched for my daughters. She has her own fashion/decor blog.

www.homeshanthihome.blogspot.no

Or another friend of mine, at work: she makes these amazing cakes. When I asked her to make one for my daughters birthday, she said she could not decorate it well enough, because she knew I like it "well done". Well, what can I say? She made love hearts for my little girl, catching up on her love of hearts...

My daughter: I once had dreams that she would be a social reformer. She dashed those dreams by declaring that she is a Science and facts girl. She chose medicine like her father. Yet she makes all her gifts for her friends by knitting or croquet, she makes hand made jewelry and even paints porcelain that so many loved her idea, they've actually asked her to paint their wedding porcelain....

I could go on all day - I have so many examples.

Often we tend to think that creativity is the privilege of a few, but its actually those who have ideas and a belief in themselves and who dare to realize their ideas. Those are the ones we hear about and say "WOW - I can never do that!". Creativity, in my view is having ideas. The next step is realizing those ideas.

Is it the world we live in, where creativity that does not produce a sustainable income, is not valued? Perhaps we have a tendency to put a price tag on our skills and soft skills are hard to price, specially creativity.

Perhaps you can't put together a simple outfit for a party, but you sure can make that child smile. Perhaps you can't paint like Leonardo, but you sure can decorate your table and make your home a warm, inviting place. Are you getting the point that I am trying to make?

MY point is, YOU are creative, and you should proud of your creativity. As humans, we all have creativity within us and it is our unique and individual way of expressing how we view our world, this universe. That's what makes us special.

YOU ARE AN UNIQUE CREATIVE PERSON!

Have a great day!

This blog going to be about a lot of things. From starting your business guide to good management or perhaps I should say creative management and even on trying to raise kids in two cultures, the everyday challenges that parents may have. It can also be about good dining at home and the importance of making everyday a celebration! I believe its the little things that make our lives full and interesting.

Keep following my blog and please give your input. Good or bad. How else can I be provoked to think differently or question that which I believe is the only right answer. :-) And if there is one thing I have learnt: in all life subjects (except for Maths) there is no ONE right answer....

Love and peace to all

Prasantha