What is happiness?

This year, I want to look within myself. To see what it is that makes us happy. And does happiness bring with it contentment? I feel that we depend more and more on external factors to make us happy - like if I get that raise, I'll be happy, it I can buy that house, I'll be happy or even something as simple as - if I lose 10 kgs, I'll be happy. 

Happiness seems to be linked with something, often, something that is not directly connected to our contentment or rather I should say our inner contentment. Happiness is expressed through the external although we laugh, we sing, we smile, we are generous and so on when when are happy. We want to share it with the world. 

So if happiness is an internal emotion that we must find in our own minds, hearts and souls, why do we strive so much to show it externally? 

Or have I misunderstood the whole concept? 

This year, my aim is to find out what makes me happy. Am I defined by making others happy? Is that who I am? What makes me happy? Just looking at a beautiful sunset? Or a flower that will fade away? Or the majestic mountains that will not fade away for at least another million years? Are they all not external sources of happiness? Just like a new television. Or a new phone? Or some jewelry??? Makes me smile - it's the season of gifts and I find that all I want is peace. Peace in my heart. In my soul and in my mind. Peace in the world. A peace that has no boundaries and a peace that brings us together - not tear us apart. But will this peace bring me happiness? Or will I want more? 

Please share your thoughts with me...... 

Love and peace - my friends

Prasantha. 

It's been a while.......

Dear friends,

It's been a while, a long while since I wrote my blog. It isn't because I didn't have any thing to say, but I was moving through life at a very fast pace. I had wanted to write the story of a life time only to realize that I needed more than a few moments here and there. 

I wanted to get into shape and realized that its hard work and I am still a project in progress. 

I wanted to get healthy but realized giving up chocolate is not an option and am still trying to figure out where did my self-control go? Why have I let myself come to such a stage where every part of me needs to be fixed?

Or maybe it's not me that needs fixing. Perhaps its the world around me that needs fixing? 

When will I learn to look at myself in appreciation instead of derogation? As always, there are never any easy answers and so the days pass. 

I have had alot of time to reflect and think. Mostly because I have had an ACL tear and had to be operated on. The right knee is now slowly gaining strength and I have been spending sleepless nights in contemplation whenever the pain subsides and allows my mind to think. 

It is amazing- how we function as humans. I have more respect for my knees and legs now than before, realizing that without their cooperation, there is very little I can do. And being surrounded by so much love, makes me humble. Knowing that I have a mother and father who have the energy to support me and bear me makes me feel blessed. A child who is an inspiration for all she faces makes me feel joyful and proud that she is my child. 

Perhaps all is not so wrong in the world. And perhaps it's only our attitude that needs fixing and not the world. 

So take some time and let me know your thoughts on what you are contemplating on these days. 

With love and peace

Prasantha 

The Indian Man.....

I will say, generally speaking, Western men, specially Scandinavians are known to participate equally on the home front and do it gladly. They don't think taking care of their children, cleaning the house, dishes or cooking as mainly a woman's job but a shared responsibility.

But then again, there are those who are just like men all over the world - who have expectations from their wives/ girlfriends and what their roles are or should be. Basically we would find all kinds of men just as we would find all kinds of women. 

So, when I hear some of my Indian friends say, 'oh, he's a typical Indian man, you know,' in a particular tone of voice, almost derogatory, I look at their husbands, their sons. And wonder - what are they actually saying about their husbands and sons? 

But, personally I feel, it gets worse: when an young Indian man stands up and says - oh I used to be a typical Indian husband but I changed. And then he proceeds to point to other older Indian men and say, he told me to listen to my wife, he showed me how to wash dishes, he helped me teach my daughters football.... Then I am left with this question - were those not Indian men you just pointed out who helped you become a better husband and father? Are they not typical Indian men? So, I am left still wondering - What makes a typical Indian man? 

Why do we look down on ourselves and our Indian men? I know they are not perfect, but then again - who is perfect? 

In every society, even one as liberal and where there is much equality between sexes as the Scandinavian society, women are abused, women are raped and harassed on the roads with cat-calls and so on. And if you think its the so-called immigrant men where women seem to have a lower social standing, you are in for a shock. Its actually Norwegian men who are often the ones that call out names after women on the streets. So what is equality? The right to work equally as a man, and earn equal pay alone? Or is to be able to walk the streets as freely as any man, not judged by our dress and looks?

I am of course being harsh - I do see that there is always room for improvement. Real equality is actually mutual respect in my opinion, an understanding from your partner that, as a woman you have several responsibilities - old parents and their care, children and their progress, ones own career, making a comfortable home (shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc) for everyone. And that has nothing to do with whether you are Indian or Western. It has to do with feeling confident in your role as a partner and appreciation of one another. And its also understanding that men too have more responsibilities that they didn't have before - such as changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, parents, and their own careers too. We still expect our men to fix the car, change the tires, mow the lawn, do all the small repairs around the house etc... Don't we?

Indian men, at least in my opinion (and I know only a few men close enough and therefore my knowledge is limited), are the same as anywhere in the world. Its how we as mothers bring up our sons and daughters. And so it seems - its still the woman's responsibility.... What do we teach our sons and daughters? Back to the start.............

Have a great day friends..... 

With love and peace

Prasantha

Is it all attitude?

I am in awe!

Norway is a beautiful country, I am sure you've heard about it a dozen times. But as any country it has its ups and downs. While living here for the past 25 years, its easy for me to criticize this country on some issues and get blase about that which we initially appreciated this country.

View from our room

Today, what I wanted to tell you about this place that I am stayed at, a health resort for both physically and mentally challenged children and young adults and their families.

Its a place called Beitostølen. From the moment I arrived, I was made to feel that anything I demanded, whether it was vegetarian food, or that our medicines are stored carefully in a fridge and a specific time to collect them was not a problem. Everything could be accommodated. We were personally taken to our room, shown the important places that we would need immediately. The cook in the restaurant noted down that we were diabetic, that we were vegetarian and we were Indian. There were some cleaners in the corridor and they were cleaning away and chatting with each other. I saw a group of young people, two in wheelchairs and several sitting around in the lobby. while we were waiting to register ourselves, these youth were talking about hair and how to maintain it. After a long time, I was so happy to hear young people, whom I know have several health issues (that's why they are here in the first place) talking about simple everyday issues. It brought a smile to my face as I saw this young very beautiful girl, in a wheel chair tossing her head, letting the boys see her bountiful mane and drawing attention to herself by saying - but my hair gets ruined so easily. And of course receiving compliments to the contrary.

View from the restaurant 

The second day I was there, I took a walk with my daughter who was very ill last year and therefore qualified for this stay, paid entirely by the state for her and myself for three full weeks As I was walking with her I told her that I wish I could build such a place in India. She smiled and said, would it not be expensive? Yes it would, but as I thought more about it, I realized that it is actually easy to build a building and make sure that all the equipment etc is installed. But the beauty of the place was not the building or its setting (although that too helps in creating the total picture). It was the people who worked there.

Its all in the attitude, in my opinion. Whether you are a cleaner, doctor, nurse, cook, or the receptionist: you were important to the smooth running and in creating that relaxed atmosphere. Everyone was equal. That I realized is what makes Norway a unique place. Its how they treat all people - equally. A cleaner is not looked down on, she/he are given due importance. The nurse often has better command over the needs of a patient and guides the doctor, the receptionist knows who is in what room and what their special needs are. Of course, I have not even began to talk about the activity leaders, physiotherapists, occupational therapists and students who are under training, or the stable personnel.

So while I can build the building, I wonder if I can bring similar attitudes to the place I want to build. Will these patients be looked down on? Will the cleaner be shouted at simply because the receptionist is higher on the social ladder? Will the doctor ignore the nurses' advice simply because she is just a nurse? And the sports instructors and students, the stable persons, all of them with their important roles that make everything run so smoothly and are experts in their areas?

These are just some of my questions and thoughts. What do you think?

Love and Peace

Prasantha

Love is in the air

Happy Valentine's, dear friends.

When it comes to love, nothing has changed, since man was born he knew what that indefinable emotion is. Our need to be loved, our need to love, to care for others is the strongest emotion, in my opinion. For without love, kings would not exist, man would not stop going to war to save the lives of the people he holds dear. Without love, women would not risk their lives to bring new life into this world. With great love, there is also great sacrifice, it seems.

So, I celebrate today, just to be able to let you all know I cherish many people and on this day, I am thinking of all the people who've touched my life with love and positiveness.

I LOVE YOU!!


Honestly speaking, I never gave that sentence much importance and often even felt embarrassed saying it.... That is, until my daughter never let a day or night pass without her letting us know she loved us and waiting until we repeated it back to her... She horded her 'I love you's' like a miser.

Yet today, perhaps it has to do with age or confidence, I truly do love regardless of the other persons love for me and express it freely. Or perhaps I am no longer afraid to show that I am vulnerable, and saying I love you comes naturally to me and makes me feel stronger rather than weaker.

And I have discovered that those simple words, even when one is angry have such power to forgive, to forget ones hurt and yes, those words sometimes makes us melt and wrap our arms around the one we love and hold them close to our hearts. Action speaks louder than words, wise men say, but this one sentence, sincerely said, sometimes has all the power to make us feel humbled and make us just a little less selfish, make us willing to set aside our personal ego and pain. In any language.. :-)

Love is really all we need, to make this beautiful world of ours a better place....................

Love and Peace, my friends. Wishing everyday is a Valentine day :-)

Prasantha.